Tyrant Toddler
I’m in Charge!!!
The tyrant toddler can be a challenging phase for both children and parents. These toddlers are fiercely independent, and need their parents to understand them, as well as love and support them.
They can be stubborn, demanding, mean, destructive, and prone to tantrums when things don't feel right.
Navigating this stage requires awareness of your own nervous systems patterns, curiosity about what your child is communicating and gentle compassion for your child and yourself.
While it can be exhausting, it is also a time of rapid growth and development. They begin to understand that they are an individual and what that means, they are learning about being in a community, in a world, having a body.
With awareness and compassionate guidance, both toddlers and parents can successfully navigate this toddler phase, and create a healthy foundation of communication and relationships for the teen years.
When your toddler is demanding attention, screaming, throwing things, not listening…
What is their behavior communicating?
I feel out of control mom, it feels very intense, what should I do? (emotional and nervous system communication)
You don’t understand what I am trying to say dad, talking is new for me, can I have a hug? (communication frustration)
I want to do it myself, I need to keep practicing to get stronger, and sometimes I need help to do things. (physical ability frustration, double bind)
Who am I! Who are you? What is this place? (existential pain)
I need to explore and be curious, will you please stand a little further away, not too far away. (exploring edges and self, double bind)
I am powerful, I can make things happen! Wow this is exciting and scary. (personal power exploration, double bind)
Are people hearing me?! (understanding use and power of voice)
I have a need that is not being met! (communication frustration, nervous system)
This is what I know works to help me survive! (nervous system communication)
Biting. (They may be trying to tell you about a painful memory)
Double bind definition: wanting two seemingly opposite things. Either way I am stuck.
Do you want to explore this further?